baby weight loss blog
We started home almost as soon as I was released from the hospital Saturday afternoon. We had to stop for the night about 5 hours away from home. Then we made it all the way home by 3 pm Sunday afternoon. It was a long hard trip that Im still trying to recover from.
We spent the night by ourselves - sent the babies off to my mother-in-laws house. We slept in really late & then Andrew went to go get Simon. We played with him all day! Andrews going to bring Rachel home tomorrow.
Brenda (my mother-in-law) called earlier to let us know that Rachel stood up on her own without holding onto anything else. Brenda said she turned away for a second & the next thing she knew Rachel was standing holding on to a toy! While we were gone she mastered some words - bye-bye with hand motions (means both the obvious as well as come get me I want to be with you), mama, nana, dada, and papa. Mom sent me a video of her doing it.
It makes me sad to miss some of these firsts of Rachels. I feel like Ive not bonded as well with her as I could have. Simon was so dependant and connected to me (quite literally a lot of the time) when he was this age. I still felt kind of left out sometimes because Andrew has always had quite a way with him. However, at least I knew I was providing him w/ something vital that linked us all the time.
Poor Rachel has been continually separated from me it seems. First it was chemo separation. I was with her, but not really b/c I was somewhat miserable from the chemo. Then I had my 1st surgery, so I was unable to hold her for 2 weeks. Then even after I healed from that surgery, Ive had some issues with not being able to hold her close b/c of my expanders and pain. Then we kind of settled in with each other. However, now weve been separated for a long time again & I wont be able to hold her for at least 2 weeks again. In a few weeks (3-4 maybe) I plan on trying to have my 2nd stage of my reconstruction done. So thatll be *another* separation.
However, I still feel like shes more bonded with others than she is with me. Maybe part of it is because I dont have that same closeness of nursing her. Another part of it is that I feel like Ive just been so worried about myself that Ive not been able to be as single-minded with her. I dont feel like shes been neglected or anything. Its just that I have uber Mommy guilt I guess.
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